So its finally here, the eve of the official UK publication of THE ACCIDENTAL WIFE. Thursday 24th April 2008.
I've written about this before, but oh well - let's talk about it again. This part, the publication part is a bit like waiting for a boy to call you. Yes, its the nearest thing I can think of to being a teenager in love, once again. You know, when you're not sure if you are going to get that call you've been longing for to be asked out to the youth club disco by the boy from the year above, where you will both stand on opposite sides of the room until the slow dance at the end of night, where upon you will magnetically connect at the mouth and snog for three and half minutes without even coming up for air until 'Careless Whisper' is finished and you have to retreat to the opposite sides of the room again and ignore each other.
Okay - its not EXACTLY like that. But it is exciting, pulse thunderingly nerve wracking, stomach twistingly scary and also, some of the time, bewilderingly anticlimactic.
I think that that last part is because publication day is a bit like - and oh I am loving my metaphors here today - losing your virginity once a year. The deed is done, and you feel as if something about you should have changed. There should be fireworks, a certain look in you eye, perhaps a particular knowing wisdom should alight you. You should be able to walk down the street and have people point and stare and say 'Look - she's written a book, you can tell just by looking at her.'
But its not REALLY like that, either. It's really like sending your child off to school on their first day. (metaphor number three, I'm counting) You are full of hope and pride and you just pray you've done enough to help them hold their own in the big bad world.
Still, as emotionally turbulent as the whole process is, there isn't a single moment I don't thank my lucky stars that I have a 'publication day' at all. And really there is only one final eloquent, erudite, sophisticated phrase that can truly sum up how I am feeling. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!